I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
someone owes me an orgasm
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
