haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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