He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
