can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
