How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
