apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize