i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
