Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
