You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
