Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
