Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I need moral support for this bender
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize