Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
