I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
