ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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