Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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