I wish I could punch you in the face.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
