operation have a gay friend backfired
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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