when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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