eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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