My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
