Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
