That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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