No subtext here. People are naked.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
