I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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