Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
do nipples grow back?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
