We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You were trust falling into bushes
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
