I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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