I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
