She's JV to your varsity
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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