I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
