***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
two words...techno handjob
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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