Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it

(651): View more from Minnesota

nevermind its newpaper

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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(812): View more from Indiana

At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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(518): View more from New York

4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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(954): View more from Florida

Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.

(203): View more from Connecticut

He's like a mythological figure

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