you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have aggressive nipples.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize