If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Holy shit dude........stairs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
