Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize