There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
