why didn't you poke me back
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
