I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
