we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
