I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
