No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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