I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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