Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
