Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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