How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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