tell your sister to shave her snatch
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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