atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize