Tell her she can't have a vagina
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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