dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
