I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
