guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
A+ Viking dick
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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