He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize