Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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