one word: firstdatebathroomanal
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
