your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
