Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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