It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
