I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
