I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
