guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
