in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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