My hand turned me down
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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