were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
